Let's Go U-Tah, Da da da da da!

This would be my inaugural post, which I decided to make about one of the shows I watch (Here's a hint, it doesn't rhyme with Shamerican Idol, nor does the singing in my show induce thoughts of smacking my head against hard objects, like the side of Jewish Community Center located adjacent to our apartment building). So my "show", isn't so much a show per se, as televised basketball games. Starting this Saturday, the Playoffs begin, here is my analysis:

I think that David and Dave will be the final two. I just love Dave's voice...oh wait I'm not a 14 year old girl. Here we go:

Eastern Conference:

Possibly the worst conference in sports history. I swear I could have played for half the teams in the Eastern Conference. There would have been better basketball if David Stern had swapped out some of the teams for middle school girls teams. Given that I find the Eastern Conference to be best described with adjectives normally reserved for describing an fire consumed orphanage (not good), a reasonable person would assume that I will avoid watching any games involving teams from that conference. My answer, reason is lame and I enjoy chilling on the couch with my buddy Cory trying to convince one of our wives to make cookies (I like oatmeal raisin Jessica). Here are my picks for the conference:

• Boston over Atlanta 4-0: Atlanta's just good enough that I would not make the squad, but just barely. No game will be closer than 11 points.


• Cleveland over Washington 4-3: I hate Cleveland. Not because of Lebron, I love Lebron. He may be the 3rd greatest player I've ever watched (I'll let you know who number 1 and 2 are later). I just hate the Lebronettes. Cleveland is a team I could play for. My old man Joe Jarvis would be a better power forward than Ben Wallace (though with slightly worse hair than Ben Wallace...Still love ya Pops!). What a crappy team. I'll still tune in for the game at 9:30 am pacific time. It should be a good series. Lebron wins four games by himself (30+ points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists per game in the wins), and the Lebronettes lose three games (31 % shooting).


• Orlando over Toronto 4-1: If the Chinese can't stop him, Canada has no hope.


• Detroit over the Sixers 4-2: I just got told to stop writing so much.

Western Conference:

Here's my analysis: Go Jazz! Allow me to introduce my man crush and my most favorite player to watch since John Stockton : I'm not saying I love him more than Diane, but if he wins the Jazz a title...no promises. Enjoy! Jazz in 5, Suns in 6, Mavs in 6 and Lakes (boo!) in 5.