An Emotional Week!

This past week has been quite the emotional one. I try to only post about happy things, but sometimes you just have to throw the bad in with the good.  It's all for record keeping, right?!!

Last Friday our friends, the Eckersley's, moved away. Dave is starting his Emergency Medicine Residency back East. Brittany and Betsy had been living with us for 5 days while Dave drove across the country. I don't know who was more excited to have them here, Gavin or me! We had a fun week, but it almost made it more difficult to have them leave after having them around so much.  Gavin and I drove them to the airport and it was a very emotional goodbye as Gavin cried "I want to go on the plane!!" He has asked for Betsy every single day (multiple times a day) since then, and he insists that we "bless Bets" anytime that we say a prayer. I am also feeling the withdrawal. Brittany is such a great friend and she will be incredibly missed! I'm sure Andrew is also missing them too, although he won't admit it. He was able to spend a lot of time with Betsy when we would leave him with all 3 of the kids and go shopping downtown for fabric or something else fun! I don't think he knows what to do with just 2 kids now! 

Monday we had Avery's 4 month appointment. Our pediatrician is not on the new Medi-Cal health plan that we had to go on. We decided that it would be worth paying the money to still go to our pediatrician for this appointment. We were running late and so Andrew dropped me off and he went to park with Gavin. I checked in with the receptionist and when she asked if we had any changes in insurance I explained the situation. She then gave me this very sad look and said, "we can't see you." She asked to see Avery's insurance card. She then explained that because we are on the state medi-cal program that it would be illegal for them to charge us money. I told her that we didn't want to go to the assigned pediatrician but we wanted to just pay out of pocket. She then continued to explain that they just can't do it. They would get fined and in trouble and that we would be thrown out of the system. I was trying so hard to stay under control and to not start crying. I was doing a pretty good job. She asked if she could call our new doctor for us and try to make an appointment for that day. I told her that we would do it on our own. At that point I knew I couldn't hold back the tears so I thanked them for their help and I hurried out the door. Luckily the stair well was right outside the door and I knew Andrew would be coming up the stairs. Just as I saw him walking up the stairs our Pediatrician walked in. She had seen me leave and followed me to see what was going on. Seeing both her and then Andrew made me cry even more. I felt so dumb!! I explained to her what was going on. I told her that we really wanted the continuity of having the same doctor and we just wanted to see her and we thought that we could. She listened and was so sweet. She said she knows that they have a lot of rules and she doesn't understand them all. I kept apologizing for being so emotional because I felt so ridiculous. She said that she understood and that it was okay. She gave me a big hug and told us to hang in there and that something would come up and it would all work out. She also said she would talk to their billing person and see if she could find anything out for us. After talking to her we started to leave. Gavin realized we weren't going to see the doctor and then he got really upset. We had been telling him all morning that we were going to go see the doctor with Avery. He was really excited apparently because as we were walking out of the building he kept saying "I want to see the doctor!" The doctor's office is right next to the mall so we decided to go there and get some lunch. While we were sitting in the food court eating I saw the receptionist and a couple nurses from the doctor's office come in to get some lunch. They ended up sitting close by us. Whenever I would look over at them I would start crying again!! For some reason I could not get my emotions under control and I kept crying off and on for the next few hours! I sat through lunch and would just randomly start tearing up and cry. There was a lady sitting a few tables away from us and she kept looking at me with a very concerned look. I'm sure she thought I had just found out someone died or was very sick or something. Or maybe she thought she was on one of those "What would you do?" reality TV shows and she was being tested to see if she would ask me if anything was wrong. If we had been on one of those shows, she would have failed. Anyway, we got a voice message from both the receptionist and our Pediatrician making sure we were okay and that we could call if we had any questions. They were so great through the whole thing, it made me want to keep going to them even more!! Although now I will feel a little ridiculous going back (if we ever do) because I was such an emotional wreck.

Clearly it was just not the fact that we couldn't get in to see the Pediatrician that was making me so emotional. I think it was just a trigger for everything that has been going on. It has now been one full year since Andrew lost his job. One year!! We would have never guessed that one year later he would still be unemployed. I remember when he first lost his job and I was telling someone about it. They said that I seemed completely okay with everything. I told them that I was because I knew things would be okay and it would work out. I probably can't say the same thing right now. I have never seen anyone spend more time and effort looking for a job. Andrew does everything that he can. I am so proud of him for never giving up, working so hard and for always trying to stay positive. He is my rock. I clearly don't know how to keep my emotions under control, but he does. We are so humbled and grateful for the help and support that we have received from friends and family. We know that we have many people that we could turn to if needed. I know that we are blessed with so many great things, and it makes me feel bad when I get so frustrated that things are not working out. I am grateful for the programs that we get assistance from, but I would really just prefer not to have to be on them! I love the home that we are in right now and I don't want to have to move! I am enjoying being back at work and I don't want to have to quit. I really don't want to sound ungrateful but it's hard to not get frustrated. I just have to try to be patient and continue to pray that things will work out and we will end up where we are supposed to be!